Hi again,
If I'm late in responding to your email, forgive the delay. Most of the time, I'm best able to talk when in cities - and these can be far apart in both time and distance.
Trust me, I read every one with pleasure.
The Journey
Newcastle, June 4, 12:26 PM
Today started off a bit chilly - then got rainy.
High-speed wet. Ugh.
Laying over in Newcastle for the night - tomorrow is expected to still be cloudy, but hopefully drier.
Newcastle, June 5, 10:05 AM
This city feels like a warm hug.
I know, it's a city - and I'm anthropomorphizing. But, it's got so many comforts - a nice beach view, huge waves, a lighthouse, cranes in the distance, it's warm, cheap eats and few chains.
Also, Venus was brilliant in the sky. Have you ever wondered what Venus looks like from Mars, or the Moon, or Jupiter?
One of those cities that feels quality, like a well-designed pan. It reminds me a lot of Bellingham.
Johns River Tavern, June 5, 5:31 PM
Driving today, I found myself in a strange mood.
The past few days, there's been a recurring thought - about growth. There's a part of me that wonders about returning back to the States - and fearing I wouldn't have learned anything at all.
It's a flawed thought, in some ways - to not have learned or grown at all would be inhuman. But it also has substance - if I put myself in the same situations that made me rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms to find pleasure, would I fall to them again?
And, perhaps harder to address -
To oppose something is to maintain it. [...] To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road.
- Estraven, the Left Hand of Darkness
I believe this statement to be true.
So, the question becomes how to move beyond the dichotomy of growth and stagnation/regression.
And ... I don't know.
Port Macquarie, June 6 11:19 AM
Woke up to a brilliant sunrise, crisp, clean post-rain air ...
... you can see where this is going.
Oh yeah, baby.
This one, fortunately, is a slow leak. Made it to Port Macquarie and getting it fixed.
In regards to the ideas from last night -
It's an unanswerable question. I could spend time deliberating and considering and wondering and becoming worried about it, but ultimately I don't have sufficient knowledge or confidence in that knowledge to say one way or the other.
I'm going to move on. Perhaps an answer will become apparent later, but allowing it to block any forward progress is a waste of time and energy.
Now-Truths
One who is happy is said to live well, and do well.
Do well - to encourage intent behind every action, and to act with beauty/grace/nobility, and with quality.
Live well - to live completely, the act of "doing well" applied to life. Have close and good friends, work and hobbies you enjoy, and live in accordance with the values that you want to guide your life.
It's an extremely high-level framework; and not specific enough to provide easy guidance to every scenario. But, that's also good - it forces a degree of hexis and active judgement of every situation, so long as it's kept in mind.
Some questions are unanswerable right now.
Identify them when they come up, and don't fear them. It may only be there are no satisfying answers in the present; move on.
Be honest and speak truth.
Verbally, emotionally and mentally.
This is something that doesn't come to me easily.
Further,
Trust the truth when it is found.
It's easy to learn something, then disregard it in favor of a comforting illusion.
